Do you know how angels greet one another?
They wave and say, "Halo!"
Now you know why this entry is titled, "Welcome to Loserville." Lame jokes are a sad side effect of being a loser (yes, I did make that one up) that unfortunately do not only overshadow the sufferer of losernitis (medical word) but the people around them. Just ask Danny. He has suffered.
Anyway, by now you're probably like, "Where are you going with this? Why am I still reading this? Although, her pathetic one liners do make me look like Seinfeld."
This is where I'm taking you today. First Corinthians 1:26-27..."Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." (NIV New International Version)
Now let's read it in the AWBTEV (Alycia's Warped but had a Brain Tumor Excuse Version)... "Think of what you were when you were called. Loser. Big letter 'L' on the forehead. Klutzy, insurance nightmare. Bad jokes are invented by you and blonde jokes invented for you. A bit of an embarrassment to be around, even by your loved ones. You wear sweater vests to prom. Big L - little oser. Loser. And you're just what God wants and loves in a person."
You know, I often ask myself why I am a Christian. I mean, I've always felt like kind of a loser. In fact today, as I was listening to a song about a young woman reflecting on her tumultuous teen years, my mind drifted back as well to evens in the history of my own loserness...
(Insert sound of chimes here to signify dream sequence)
When I started high school, every girl had a crush on the school council president. His name was, let's say George Finkleman (of course it wasn't that. That is a loser name. But I don't want to say his real name because with my email subscription being at an all time high, with my luck his Aunt in Toronto or something will get this call him right away and I will be totally mortified. George, if you're reading this, sorry about the loser name comment). Anyway, George was a real dreamboat. Charming, funny, kind, sincere, and as for looks - well! Let's just say he put the 'body' in 'student body.' No! I got a better one! He put the 'stud' in 'student!' Ha ha ha ha...
Loser Fact #17- Loser's always laugh at their own lame jokes for a ridiculously long time.
...ha ha ha ha! Yeah, that was a good one. Okay, so of course I was not spared from the ga-ga's whenever he walked past me in the hallway. Alas, he was in a distant senior land while I was but a lowly freshman.
One time we happened to be at the very same party at the same time. Was it fate? Or was it just a school dance? Anyway, a big group of us were line dancing to some country songs (a shame I do not speak of often) and out of the music and the mist (fog machine) came Ke--I mean George Finkleman. And he was heading straight for ME! He smiled and leaned close and told me that I was a really good dancer! GASP! I couldn't believe it! What if he asked me to dance? What would I do? What would I say? He leaned in again to speak. Was he going to ask me to dance???
Well, he sort of did ask me to dance, but with his girlfriend (she was from another school. Whatever. He apparently was too good to date someone from the very school he was the president of. Typical politician.) She really wanted to learn how to line dance. I spent the majority of the night teaching her moves to "My Achy Breaky Heart."
(Back to me sitting in the kitchen listening to music.)
As I continued to listen to the young lady's voice and reminisce days gone passed, some of the song's lyrics were really speaking to me:
"You heard my complaints about my curfew at 10..."
- That sums up my teen years
"You saw when my room was a mess again..."
- And again and again
"You heard me when I swore..."
- I occasionally did have a bit of a potty mouth
"...that I'd never love again..."
-Oh, you weren't finished that line yet. I thought you meant, you know. You see I never
really had that "high school sweetheart" experience so I thought you were talking about...well, I mean I did have a couple of crushes. I guy asked me to dance once...almost... well, sort of...
Loser. Yep, this has shed a whole lotta light on the term "pre-destination."
To wrap this up, this is what I'm trying to say: I feel very privileged to be a loser. It's why God picked me.
And if you're feeling like a loser today, remember: You are. And God loves you for it.
Which makes you cool.