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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Worst Story Ever

Hey everyone! LIFEFORCE UK HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED! Yes, all of our staff and students have arrived making us a strong army of 9. Of course, 3 of our crew will be returning back to Canada at Christmas, leaving 6 of us to go on the road in January. It has been totally crazy. Good thing I write my email updates in advance. I'll bore you more with all the details of our training centre later but for now, here is my last terrible story. I fear that the rest of my chapters may be so out of date now that they are irrelevant, but maybe I'll just merge them all together into one super-chapter.

Without further delay, this is the last, and the very worst one.

So Danny and I were in Kidderminster (some small town) doing school programs with the local church. The pastor of the church is only like 25 years old, and we all have a lot of fun together. Anyway one day, this pastor guy, Dan, and I were walking through the town centre to pick up some things for school when we ran into some one he knew. This guy was a big, rough looking guy - raggidy clothes, unshaven, smoke hanging out of his mouth and a really thick accent. They chatted for a moment and then this guy turns to me and says, "So, are you a prostitute?" I was shocked. I was appalled. I was confused, insulted, angered, etc, etc. I thought to myself, 'What is this guy about? Do I look like a prostitute, buddy? It's not even noon! This guy has to be drunk or something. Why I oughtta...

"Uh, no!" I squeeked out. I was speechless. (Insert your own sarcastic remarks here)

The pastor I was with, Dan, came to my rescue, "Ah, she's just here helping with the stuff we're doing in schools this week. We've got to run though. See you later!" My hero (that's sarcasm). As we're walking away I said, "I can't believe that guy! That he would just ask some one he's never even seen before a question like that!" Dan shrugged. "Oh he probably just thought that because you were with me." He said nonchalant.

My inner monologue voice was livid. "Because I was with you?!?!? What is that supposed to mean? Is there something about you I don't know?!?!?" I thought.

There was no time to get into it then as we had to get to the school for classes. The rest of the day though I was sick about the whole thing. Later that evening I brought it up as we were all haning out. I leaned over to Danny and told him, "Today some one asked me if I was a prostitute!" My sensitive husband burst out laughing. "Really? When did that happen?" "Dan was there! Tell him Dan! About that guy who asked me if I was a prostitute!" I blurted out. "What!?!" exclaimed Dan. "Where was that?" Typical man. Didn't even notice.

"In the town centre today. Remember that guy when he asked me, 'Are you a prostitute?'" Dan reflected for a moment. "Alycia," he slowly explained, "he didn't ask you if you were a prostitute. He asked if you were a pastor, too." Dead silence. Then the eruption of laughter. Finally, my eternal shame.

That is my worst story ever. I hope.

Anyway, those are my stories right now. I'll continue with the other chapters soon.

They kind of seem a bit boring after that, so I'll try and spice them up. Talk to you later! God bless!

~Alycia DeLong


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